fractured_logic

the scientist break things down to numbers & formulas, to the essence where things can be calculated to every aspect and moment. they know the flaws and strengths. it is precision & detail that makes the scientist a scientist.

the artist lacks the finer precisions that the scientist hold. they hold their theory and ideas but they are loosely held without the painstaking repetition & research that the scientist has devoted. their formulas are loose their style less controlled, but what they have over the scientist is creativity and flexibility. without a set formula to follow they are more free and willing to try things cause they solely seem right.

that is not to say the scientist with its sense of repetition and need for order a flaw. but that they are bound by a certain rule of order first unlike the artist whole deals with things with less restrictions. for the scientist is a tome of knowledge.

even once awhile i hear the issue of control. the concept that guns don't kill people, people kill people, that the restriction of guns would reduce the number of violent crimes or accidental deaths, those who use gun irresponsible are a few out of the many.

lets say that there is a ban on guns. to the extent that only military & law enforcements would be the only ones who would have them.

and all i can say is that attempt would end in failure or be road blocked at every possible step. why? it is because of the "rights to bear arms." so it much more simplistic. that it is nearly a logistical impossibility. and here you may scream and yell and wonder why is that?

have you looked into the arms industry? the weapons and munition we manufacture? the amount of money that recreational use of firearms brings in? imagine how many fire ranges you would have to close down, or how many gun shops would close up. and than what about those who go hunting, the loss money for the recreation place who sell hunting licenses? how much money, how many jobs, would be lost by the ban? what about those to manufacture where would they fall?

if you would even debate the ban against guns it seems that some research on gun as an industry is a good way to go. would the other side what put several thousands out of the job? to they even plan to remove all the gun from the hands of the citizen and especially the criminally inclined. sure the guns for money programs does some good, but still it doesnt seem to be enough. give those who want the ban, the ban, just as long as they can figure would what to do with the fall of banning guns.

i drinking because 1 of 2 reason

i'm with friends and boozes are accessible, because its nice to drink with company. and something which i rarely get to do. most of the time i drink alone

or i am feeling mildly suicidal and depressed and boozes is a a form of derailing my line of thought and at the same time drive slightly towards the path of self destruction. feeling the pain of one form with another, which works to a certain extent of making me "stable."

reason for the depression and mild suicidal tendencies, is another issue.

Nightmares of the sleepless dreamer

i dont if its just me
or a part or some sort of madness
to feel so many feeling, and to often they conflict

too feel self hate & fear
too feel comfort, self hate, sarrow
too feel depression and an odd peace
too feel a half happy with a saddesss lying just beneath

these are but a few but the most memoriable ones
maybe im over thinking things
maybe people feel like this many times than i believe

yet after it all i always come to same end
where i just want to put my head through a plate glass window
or have a spear pierce my heart

love
sometimes i want it
sometimes i think i need it
to know what it is
to know how it feels to be in love
and i hate myself for it
of how much i want
of how much i am afraid of it

i miss the days where i didn't give a damn
where i was fine being alone
maybe i'm tired of being alone
i don't know anymore
maybe i'm just tired of it all

i think i hate coming home
i live with my parents, but that doesn't bother me
i don't pay rent, they don't bother to much, there usually dinner when i get back

what bothers me is that there isn't anything really there
i pretty much come home and kill time until i have to sleep
that isn't really bad

but i want to come home and have some there that i can snuggle with
to go to sleep and wake up with someone besides me
to have someone there besides to remind that someone really does care about me
to not feel so alone in the world

god now i remember why i don't blog
i hate facing the truth about myself

It's odd how a conversation in religion spawns some interesting thoughts. Of how people want to believe that there is some sort of super natural power that makes the universe fair; karma, heaven and hell, and such. The other is the concept of good and evil. Some people say have absolute beliefs of good and evils, others say the world is nothing but a shades of gray, but either or people have some of concept of good and evil.

There are so many things we believe are universal truths. So many that can easily be debated about or questioned.

There is one thing I can only come to terms that in an undeniable truth. Free will. One can easily argue that free will can been taken, various manners like oppressive forces or ultimatums. But you still chose, sometimes the choices can be the lesser of two evils, to make a sacrifice or not. There is often another options, the question about your choices but the prices they entail. Or catching or themselves before we repeat an actions simply out of habit.

Damn, every time I have a thought I seem to loss it while I type.

lesser villians, those if spun right are not that evil.
for a cause, for revenge, for job, distorted reality
there is something that drives them, something that is to them real
something that we might be able to understand or take pity on
reasons that to a lesser extent we might do

greater villians, those who do i cause they can
there is no real gain
maybe its the joy of killing, or the fear
maybe to see what will happen, like a scientist watching a rat run through a maze
maybe its to kill and see how long they can get away with doing it again and again
but they do it because they know it wrong or dont care if it is
like a game or entertainment, nothing more
no profit, no gain

i can't be around you without having myself